June 14, 2008


Everyone in the town of Guntor remembers the phenomenon of the children's playground that magically appeared by itself overnight last spring. What seemed as a miracle turned out to be the good deeds of the neighborhood Vampire, who stayed up all night completing the slide and swings to surprise the children. Unfortunately, on the one-year anniversary the swing-set was built, Vampire has died.
“I think it tore him up inside that he couldn't actually see the children play with his invention," says mother Janice Halbertstein, "I've seen him sitting on the slide every night since he built it, waiting for children to come play with him. But I, like many mothers, won't let their child play outside at night-- not since that night a child died playing with bullets in the streets."
The story is told that after a year of frustration, Vampire finally decided to join the children after school for their daily play. With only a slight discomfort from the sunlight, Vampire thought he'd be okay. But within minutes the cursed sun shot rays of death into his heart and legs. To block the pain, he covered his body with the hugs of many children, but to no avail. He burned up in a bright, fiery blaze that witnesses say only a horse with glasses can create.
Vampire is survived by his four children, Barfy Scorpion, and his teenage dog fan club.
-Hal Cronweld