June 14, 2008

STUDY: TEENAGE DOGS USE ECSTASY WITH BULLETS



Scientists have learned that adolescent dogs prefer the combination of bullets with today's coolest drugs. The study started when a boy brought home bullets he found in a dog's urine puddle. The father brought the bullet to a scientist who then found it had traces of ecstasy. The public already knew whom to blame.
"Yesterday I found my bullets in my child's throat," expert Greevy Oliny says, "Now we all know how much a dog loves bullets, but when children can walk the streets, and find bullets in their favorite urine puddles-- something has to be done. Smoking bullets is no activity for a child."
Oliny took his argument to the schools, but was forced out by a dog with a bullet-hat and shades. The dog assured him that bullets and children were meant to be together. When Oliny went to the police, they said he was under the influence of bullets and could smell bullets in his breath. He received a shot to the leg with a real bullet as penalty for his 'personal research.'
-Hal Cronweld