June 14, 2008


Tradegy struck the National Rifle Association for Dogs this month when a founding member accidentally received 3-40 bullets to the heart. The event held by the NRA annually accounts for 80% of the donations towards the Children for Guns campaign, where members can trade their children for the latest in bullet technology.
“I really didn't see it happen," says chaperone Lynn Reddens, "It was during their traditional 'Throw the Bottle of Poison the Koolest' contest. And from what I can tell, a dog tried taping the poison to a gun for a sweet throw when it accidentally went off.
Although the cause of death seems obvious, the NRA denies that the victim died from gunfire. Leader Doglton Barkston states, "The situation got out of hand, yes, but look at the evidence-- there's a bottle of poison attached to a gun, dogs were playing with poison, children and poison are not allowed, etc. To me it's clear guns are not to blame."
Following the case, police arrested the leading members of the National Poison Association this morning after finding plans for bullets shaped like bottles of poison in their company garage. They were released once they found out the poison in the bullets was the kind only children can smell.
-Hal Cronweld