June 14, 2008


Dog Rugbear Klansky stepped into the record books Sunday with a win at the Daytona 500. He did it with his customized and trademark Ice Cream truck, that he’s had since birth.
His ice cream company received a lot of criticism last year when they reported over 80 child deaths, because of the speed at which he drives. There is also some speculation to the manner in which he won the race.
“He cheated,” says former champ Cleff Bordan, “he had like 40 trucks with him, he never stopped once for repairs.”
Caution flags went up halfway through the race because officials warned Rugbear to shut off his truck’s music. “I tried to take him out a few times, but he’d just shout and curse and speed off, ” cries Bordan, “I was pretty offended by the things he said.”
Also to report, police are investigating a robbery of 40 race cars. They were found buried in the park, all their engines were missing and there were fang marks all over the hoods. As for Rugbear, he made sure to give everyone some ice cream before leaving with his crown.
-Hal Cronweld