June 14, 2008


There was an unexpected sale attempt at the Eat Food to Survive Megastore yesterday when Raisin the dog brought a human baby to sell. The baby belongs to mailman Kenneth Poleyoret, who reported the baby missing as the dog was selling it.
"I sometimes leave my baby in the mailbox if I have a long walk ahead of me," says Kenneth, "I thought he might have been picked up and shipped off by another postal worker because he likes to play with stamps so much. And a mailman will mail anything with a stamp on it believe you me."
The owners of Eat Foods found the pair absolutely adorable. They offered 3 million for the baby, since many customers agreed that the couple was 'priceless.' Although the police came before they sealed the deal, Eat Foods made an offer to Raisin to be their spokesperson, under the conditions that he holds a baby when advertising their products.
The police determined that a baby and dog combination is almost always cute, but warned potential buyers that babies without dogs are usually dumb and can't even speak.
-Hal Cronweld