June 14, 2008


Yesterday, Dretch the dog opened his bag of secrets was able to stop the destructive winds of a tornado by throwing grenades at it. Potential victims of the storm rewarded the dog with 2 satchels of valor and a high five for saving their homes.
"It was so brave," says Sandy Recital, "I personally thanked him after the firemen left. Some were angry that their houses were on fire, but we have alarms for that kind of stuff. There's no alarm for wind and rain-- and anyone can put out a dumb fire."
Scientists declared Windtrain's tornado theories brilliant when they proved successful in testing. "From now on all storms and tornados will be handled by use of explosives." scientist Jones says, "Further tests will continue to see how tornados handle bullets, rockets, and nuclear weapons. We hope that in the future, you need not worry about your home being damaged by wind ever again."
-Hal Cronweld