June 14, 2008

DOG SELLS SHITTIEST PAINTING EVER



History was made this afternoon when Dogatello's "worst painting ever" went up for auction exclusively to the wives of the members of the Marine Golf Classic Committee. Of the six women involved across the nation, three declined the opportunity due to being retired and being old. Starting bids began as low as five paper clips to an eventual high and winning bid of seven pieces of hope, brought forth by Margaret Cape, America's favorite wife of a member of the Marine Golf Classic Committee.
"I know a real Dogatello when i can see one, and this one takes the clothes off a cake. Dogatello is novicely masterful; a true blind visionary and a good father to his kidnapped children. His paintings could bring Ronald Reagan back to life, cure his alzheimers, and then turn him into a child," Margaret promised. "My husband was a marine. Once a marine, always a marine."
Margaret choked on these words, dying instantly, and more importantly - putting Dogatello's painting back on the market. A combination funeral/auction will be held at Victoria Tent's annual garage sale next December with all proceeds going to Alaska.
-Falcon G.