June 14, 2008

DOG SCIENTIST INVENTS BULLET-FILLED WATERBALLOON



After a few days of research, dog scientist, Dandyfop, has successfully bound bullets with water in his new invention he calls, 'Water Balloon Filled with Bullets.' The deadly reaction is incased within a special gold-laced balloony rubber, which allows for a stable shield at rest, but a deadly explosion of dirty water upon impact.
National military personnel announced today its plans to incorporate the new technology in their arsenal. "This sounds awesome doesn't it?" asks Security General Trey Poolfork, "The WBFB introduces the bloody hands of war into the fun, cool world of children. I can't wait to see it work."
Animal rights activists are upset at the new weapon, saying animals will drink the bloody, lead-filled water and implode. "I'm sorry but I can't allow penguins and zebras and lions to go around dying," say Lacy Yorks, "One of these balloons is worse than 50 oil spills in the ocean-- and dogs don't even know how to throw these things."
To prove her point, Lacy ate 12 WBFBs and died immediately. As a result, dog scientists have faced heavy criticism about their weapon, but have listened to Lacy's comments, and will undergo tests to see if a dog can or cannot throw things.
-Hal Cronweld