June 14, 2008


While locals made fun of a retarded dog for building a sandcastle on a field in the midst of winter, police were congratulating him. Why? He's managed to find a family that's been missing for over 200 years living inside his hand crafted dream house. 

The Kolowen Family, most known for their extravagant clown parties of the 18th Century, have been dead for years according to history books and police. In fact, 67 men and women have been put to death blamed for the disappearance of this adorable family. And now by some odd coincidence they show up in the fantastic world of a retarded dog. The dog's owner shares his opinions. 

"I found that dog on the beach years ago," says ranch owner Ghett Wreal, "Now I know why he's been taking trips there every winter and coming back with sand taped to his legs. Oh, and that family? Yeah they're alright, it's bullshit if you ask me--"

Police interrupted the interview at this point with 6 shots to Wreal's leg. "The blanket of dreams and miracles rests on the comfort of a grilled cheese pillow," says the police chief, "I have no respect for those who think otherwise." 

-Hal Cronweld