June 14, 2008

DOG FALLS DOWN WELL-- SLAYS DRAGON



Old Buttermilk was rescued from a well yesterday after weeks of torment from the town dragon, Librarian. According to witnesses, Buttermilk was gallivanting atop the well telling riddles to the dragon, when a gust of wind slapped water to his feet and he slipped down the welling hole. It didn't take long before the two challenged each other.
"All you could hear for miles was the yelping and the bitching," says town uncle Lazzy Permington, "the dragon would not shut up. And that dog is a terrible comedian, before every sword swing he'd shout a terrible joke. Everyone booed so much."
To speed up the process, locals threw down guns and blood, in hopes of a violent spectacle of entertainment. The final attack came when Buttermilk stabbed Librarian with four golden swords at once, taking keen advantage as a quadruped. Witnesses believe they saw Librarian give the peace sign just before letting out a final cry. As for Buttermilk, he suffered no major injuries, and all of his legs were broken.
-Hal Cronweld

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