July 23, 2010
The sports team of West Joggin College have earned another day of high-fives as their volleyball playing bear has helped them take first place with a win yesterday. The bear, named Kooly Richards, was first discovered by the school's dean, who would feed the bear garbage everyday by the playground.
"I fell in love with him right away," says dean Jack Greene Jr., "the first thing I fed him was a pair of sunglasses, so I named him Kooly."
Kooly is a common breed of bear known as the Garbage-Bear, generally known for their hunger and potential for being a sports fan. Dean Greene first brought Kooly to a match to cheer as the school's official mascot. But then one day, at one of the volleyball games, tragedy struck. The ball took an odd bounce and sailed towards Kooly, and while many expected him to just eat the ball as if it were garbage, Kooly proceded to slam the ball at one particular child on the opposing team.
"I've never seen anything like it," says Greene, "he kept spiking the ball at that boy, over and over. He showed amazing talent."
July 16, 2010
In an astonishing display of skills and academics, the lion community has surpassed the bald eagle of America at this year's Xtreme Bravery Sportz Jam. The eagle, which will lose its title as Country's Best Hero for the first time in decades, was disqualified in the "Proudy Test" category for failing to give the peace sign to an elderly gentlemen during a morning shower.
Xtreme Bravery Sportz Jam is a month long event held each year in Radbury Mansion. Originating in 1927, Joseph J. Radbury began this event in the forest next to Washinton D.C, where he challenged the animal population to build a mansion for he and his family. Each breed was given 4 sacks of rope, 2 items of gold, and a pile of water with sticks in it. Having experience in gold crafting, the eagles were quick to finish and charmed the hearts of the Radbury family and all of America.
The lions have been trying for years to win America's love, but their dumb faces have prevented them from winning the "Sunglasses Test" for the past 35 years. Many believe the aging Radbury couldn't properly see the eagles wearing their 21st century sunglasses, costing them much needed points. One eagle even came to the winning ceremony wearing a pair of the lion's sunglasses, with a sign that read, "Dumb Glasses".
The lion parade will be held Monday in the National Sand Park.
- Dog Deals Drugs to Swan
- Dog Discovers Wormhole In Child's Face
- Dog's At Home Cosmetic Surgery A Success
- Lion Replaces Eagle as Country's Hero
- Eagle Locks Himself in Trunk of Car
- Horse Uses Tennis Racket to Clean Up Garbage
- Freedom Shield Protects Eagle From Murder
- Dog Builds New Home on Race Car
- Kooly the Bear Wins Tournament for College Team
- Horse Builds Town a New CD Store
- Eagle To Deliver Star Shaped Contacts to All Ameri...
- Dog Soda Addiction in America a Growing Concern fo...
- Barfy Scorpion Practices for Skateboard Champion C...
- Dog Invents Underwater Sunglasses
- Horse Climbs Up Tree to Hang Out With Eagle
- Dog Guesses Dying Man's Favorite Car
- Runaway Train Stopped by Kooly the Bear
- Scrambled Egg Faced Boy Serves Eagle Breakfast
- Eagle's Cover Blown After Ocean Suit Malfunction
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