June 14, 2008

"Dawg Life" Sells 400 Million Albums in One Week



In music news this week, rapper Homie the Dawg has shattered the sales record for amount of albums sold in its debut week at over 400 million sold. It beats the old record set by the artist's last album, "Street Bonez," which sold for 230 million copies in its first week, and continued on to Quintuple Diamond Laced Mercury status, or 5 trillion.
"Break me out... my Daaawg Stick.." sings Dawg's spokesperson Fresh TrooFz, "Yo I told you my dawg was troof. He spits it so wiggy-life on track 3.. shit, bring this one to the grocery grave know what I'm saying?"
To my surprise, Troofz is right. The one line in Track 3, Streetz Made From Bonez, is in fact, quite ill:
..Dawg's got a bullet, Raps made of gold
Life as I know it, Is like a rap made of gold..
Homie the Dawg speaks mostly to urban dogs and to the blind dog community, thus producing the record sales. Dog-children are upset at the explicit lyric content since they cannot yet purchase without the proper attire on or a parental eagle present.
-Hal Cronweld


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